There was a time when I really cared about the people, who we generally call, “Our Loved Ones”. When their happiness meant the world to me and their smiles used to give me butterflies. Always trying to fulfill their wishes and working hard for their smiles was the only thing that mattered. But then I realized that no matter what I do, it will never be enough and that if I need something, I’ll be my only support. Not that my intent was not selfless but as a normal human being, I too had an expectation – I needed someone to listen to me, someone who could understand me, because I was intense. My thoughts were deep and more matured than my age and ‘my people’ could not relate to me. I have always been an ambivert by nature, which means a blend of extrovert and introvert. I could interact with new people easily, but I took time to build any kind of bond with them, be it friendship or more. And so, I always needed one person who I could talk to. Someone who I could come home to. Someone who would never turn his back towards me.

Not that I never got such people, I did, in fact a couple of them, but people tend to change with time and all of them did. And with each one leaving, the ‘real’ I, changed too. From someone who had so much to talk about, I started to have problems in having long conversations. But I still wanted someone, maybe I still wanted to feel someone’s presence. The change in me had gotten into my mind, the loneliness had gotten into my head. My craving for people reduced to a decent level and inclination towards myself increased more. I was entering a stage where nothing really mattered to me more than my own self. I wasn’t this way and neither did I want myself to transform into this. But I had no choice and for once in my life, I thought of letting myself free: into a world where ‘I’ mattered to me; where it was not just about ‘my people’ but more.

There’s a little more to this. Read it on my blog on the post titled Life: When the reality isn’t this cruel and dreams had their freedom!